Deane's Blog

Do You Want Deeper Friendships?

FriendshipsDeane Watters6 Comments

A few weeks ago I met with some friends I had not seen for awhile. We bunched into a booth at Panera with our lunches in front of us. So eager to get talking, we started right in.

"How are your kids doing?"

"Where'd you go last summer?"

"How was your time in Costa Rica??"

"Isn't being a grandparent just the best thing EVER?"

As we breathed in the scent of our savory soup, memories popped up like dandelions in the spring as we recalled moments knitted into the fabric of our shared stories. Between bites we laughed, remembering with grins, the times Brian and our family acted out the children's book, King Bidgood in the Bathtub!  Smiling, we recalled the time we nearly scared our kids to death as we snuck, in the dark, to a secret place at Morgan Creek Park, reenacting a scene from the Underground Railroad. Oh, how we could go on and on!

The four of us had once been a part of a homeschooling coop that met weekly for several years. We mom-teachers taught classes and our kids's education became an integral part of our families lives. Family night was looked forward to as the time when the dads could enter in to hear their kids give reports, play musical instruments and eat unique food; all coordinating with the unit we were studying. We truly relished those years we spent together.

The memories were sweet.

But at the end of our time, as we stood to leave, one of us suggested we get together again soon. She admitted it was OK to talk about our kids and to get caught up on the grandchildren, and to remember the past, but we really didn't talk much about ourselves, our own hearts.

"Next time let's talk about what God is doing in our lives. Then we'll really know better what is happening in us." 

I reached over and gave her a big hug; I agreed with her so much!  It is important to me that we sisters in Christ not forget to share, at a deeper level, what is happening in our hearts.

Open the deeper friendships.

Open the deeper friendships.

  • Where am I frustrated?
  • What is the rhythm of my spiritual life?
  • What victories have I enjoyed?
  • How is my prayer life going right now? 
  • Where am I seeing God move in my life?
  • What am I finding hard to believe right now?

This is the kind of talk that energizes and excites me! I want to be challenged and encouraged but I cannot if we never talk about deeper things, if we stay hidden behind silence.

Talking about our family or the details of daily life, is a great place to start. It gives us common ground and we are certainly interested in the children and grandchildren of those we love.

But then, as my friend verbalized, let's find ways into deeper conversation that endears us to one another and fires our hearts for prayer and support. Let's not keep ourselves hidden from the very sisters who can be a lifeline to comfort and support and who can encourage and pray for us. 

Meeting with those friends was a highlight of my week. Sitting with them and recalling the past and catching up with their families was lovely.  I got an email yesterday from one of those friends suggesting we meet regularly, like every three or four months, to get busy at the task of learning how we can love, support and pray for each other, which, of course, will deepen our friendships even more.

I'm so excited.