We are now sixteen days into the season of Lent. I ponder my direction:
When I wake up on Resurrection Sunday morning how will I be different? What am I preparing for?
If Easter Sunday comes and I'm more worried about the ham in my oven than I am about my spiritual condition, then I think I have missed out. It becomes just an easter bunny sunday.
In the book, Found: A Story of Questions, Grace and Everyday Prayer author Micha Boyett finds herself undone at feelings of unimportance and lack of prayer after the birth of her first child. "My first year of motherhood I lost prayer. I lost early mornings of quiet, mornings in my pajamas with a Bible in my lap, mornings when I spoke my mind's chaos into God's ear and let the chaos come back ordered, holy sealed. I lost peace. I lost clarity and certitude...I blamed myself." She longed to experience God again. While reading Kathleen Norris's The Cloister Walk, she learned that "The Benedictines, more than any other people I know, insist that there is time in each day for prayer, for work, for study and for play." She proceeded to study the monastic perspective and apply what she could into her own experience. She met with a spiritual advisor and went after a deeper satisfaction in her spiritual life. "The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest. The antidote...is whole heartedness." She views wholeheartedness as "allowing every part of me to be loved by God." This is her story of returning to wholeness and faith.
I love the word wholehearted! How can I allow every part of me to be loved by God so that Easter morning will find me fully entering into rejoicing because Christ died and then came alive again? For me, it means:
- Loving and listening to my self
- Resting in grace, God's and mine
- Loving deeper so Christ will be known
- Deliberately scanning my eyes over the early morning milky colored sky with birds chirping in the woods as the sun peeks through, feeling the pleasure.
- Opening the Word and seeing what joyful thing God speaks out that day
- Embracing today so tomorrow won't be my hyper-focus
- Staying awake to the movement of God all around me
- Finding one beautiful thing to photograph each day
- Praying with abandon, believing God, with much hope and joy
- Living in thankfulness instead of discontent
My Easter morning goal: to wake up ready to wholeheartedly celebrate Christ's beautiful work on the cross and his resurrection.
I will be ready by living this next moment with grace toward myself and others. By staying awake to God's nearness. By being in the Word to remind myself of the "today-ness" of His story. To search out a fresh perspective of Christ's work and to be open to understanding my fear so that today can be freely lived. By serving my fellow travelers, as Jesus did.
Reading about Boyett's path toward wholeheartedness was a delight. I'm composing my own trek in that direction and it certainly is a beautiful journey.
On to a fully anticipated and joy-filled Resurrection Morning!