This has been a rough week. Chaos swirled into our lives in several forms and we have been left in its aftermath feeling not sure of how to feel. Whether it is a loss of property due to the weather, or the loss of a loved one, many of us have been affected.
When I am feeling raw and unsure of myself, I have learned a way to allow myself to discover how I really feel. I do this by pulling out my spiral notebook and a pen.
- I pray something like this: “Father God, I’m not sure how I feel about all that is happening. I’m going to write to find out. Would you help me to be honest, to dig really deep and to not be afraid?”
- I remind myself to not waste time writing about how I “should” be feeling, but rather put on paper what I am really feeling.
- I put my pen to the paper and start writing. I don’t think ahead of time. I just write and listen to my heart. The words will form and they will come out. I include my questions and confusions, my fears and my feelings.
I remind myself that words don’t need to be spelled correctly; punctuation is not necessary. No teacher will lay eyes or red pen on my private writings. I may be surprised at what I find when I truly open up to what is inside. Once it is written I am relieved to find it on the page so I can study, understanding and accept it.
I cannot stop there though.
Identifying feelings is healthy and good for me. It allows me to find my true comfort in light of scripture and God’s truth. Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…”
To run the race, we need to throw off whatever trips us up. Sometimes these cords are not easy to identify. Writing brings them out into the light. Pulling them out (by writing them down) then pouring over them with the light of scripture (reading of the word) and praying over them (prayer) allows clarity and healing.
I truly encourage all of us to shoo out the shoulds, dig into what really is and ask God to enable us to see how His word can bring healing and truth to our weary souls.
This has been an extremely rough week. But by paying attention to our feelings and fixing our eyes on Jesus, we will move through to a more mature and trusting faith. God is good. He sees and knows, loves and comforts.
If you have any questions about this please let me know. firstname.lastname@example.org I would love to talk with you.