Feeling Loved by God

Last week I drove to a friend’s house for an afternoon visit. After settling into comfortable chairs on her back porch with glasses of water close by, she and I happily caught up on our lives since we last met in that same spot a year ago. We talked about our kids, our churches, our writing, and the work we find ourselves doing. I loved all of it! Toward the end, we came upon one of my favorite topics and spent the rest of our time there, sharing our thoughts:

How do we grow and feel closer to God?

We are so thankful to know that we are loved by God, but there are times when it is hard to feel that love.

What would you say if you were asked that question? How have you grown in your love for God and in your feelings of being loved by him? What thoughts have you held about his love? What feelings do you desire to feel concerning his love for you and your love for him?

Since that conversation, I have been reading Sacred Pathways, by Gary Thomas, a book that explains different ways that people grow in their love for God. Some people feel close to God when they are outdoors. Some sense a connection when they are alone, at home, or at church through worship, corporate prayer, or in the reciting of a liturgy. Others love to study and fill their minds with scripture. I think that I find some connection in parts of all of them.

My friend and I acknowledged that we have done many Bible studies. Through many sermons and worship sets we have learned and been challenged to grow. God has provided for us in those times, and we have gained understanding, knowing that God exists and that Jesus came so we could know the Father and come into a relationship with him.

“But,” my friend lamented, “ I just want to feel held by God.” I nodded, understanding the desire.

One of the pathways to knowing God in a deeper way is through our desire to love and be loved.

Sometimes I feel anxious or overwhelmed. I know you do too. When I feel this way, often I will ask my husband to hold me. Or when I see that he needs kind-hearted encouragement, I hug him. As humans encased in a body, we need our body to be held when we feel untethered. God has built this need into our bodies. Body contact warms and assures me that my husband wants to help and is here to provide a witness to what my heart needs. It is like our dad or mom did (or should have done) when we were children. Comfort. Empathy. Presence. These are offered in a healing hug.

We want that kind of closeness from God too, but his body is not like ours! How do we ask Him to hold us? How do we get the reassurance that he is with us when he doesn’t have a body with arms to wrap around us?

I know that sometimes he shows us himself through people, like my husband or a dear friend. Often a scripture passage will give us the sense and encouragement that we need. There are even times when he enables us to feel his love by using our imagination to envision that God himself is the one holding us close to his heart.

The first time I met with my spiritual director, she read aloud to me from Deuteronomy 33:12.

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him,

for he shields him all day long,

and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.

This is a soothing verse. Moses was blessing the tribe of Benjamin, but I know that it is also a blessing for me. It tells me that I can rest secure in God’s love. He shields me all day long. He calls me beloved and offers me rest from striving.

I can see and know these things from these verses. The answers arise from the text.

To more fully feel what these verses are illustrating, we can close our eyes and envision ourselves resting with God’s arms around us. This stopping and relaxing, like a child with his/her mother, helps us pay attention to what we know and how we feel.

I like to think of this as abiding prayer. We hold on while He envelops us in his love, in his attentive availability. Jesus said in John 15:5, I am the vine, and you are the branches. He who abides (remains) in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me, you can do nothing.

The first time my director encouraged me to do this she added, “And let’s see what God will say to you!”

My eyes popped open and I said, “What?” Do you think God speaks like that? (so, if you’re a bit skeptical, rest assured that I was right there with you.) She assured me that perhaps just experiencing the feelings of nearness was a perfect place to start. After becoming comfortable with imagining the pose, I could ask Him for more.

I have come to cherish knowing that we can step into scripture and let God communicate with us because it is there that we realize our belovedness. It is there that we find that because he loves us, we can love him back with feeling. This leads us to love ourselves and have more than enough love for our neighbor. In being loved, we can love. We will want to love. We can get our eyes off ourselves because we are resting securely in the love God has for us. Securely loved people are brave and kind toward themselves and others. They have nothing to prove.

How about you? Is this pathway a new way for you to connect with God? Do you find yourself resting securely and feeling the love God has for you?

If not, I encourage you to take this verse and quietly slip away to a safe/quiet place and ask God to show you how to feel confident in his love for you. Rest and be quiet. Feel held. Stay as long as you are able. And listen. What might God be telling you? This is listening prayer.

David knew this kind of safety in God’s love for him. In Psalm 63:8 he expresses his trust in God’s strong right hand:

Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.

I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.

Let me assure you, God does not lie, is not a flatterer or a manipulator. The love he offers is pure and refreshing, deep and joyful. He is a perfect Father who welcomes us into his embrace.


Here are a few verses to take with you:

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. - Jeremiah 31:3

As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5

The Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” Exodus 33:17

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hand… Isaiah 49:16

God so loved the world…John 3:16

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ… Ephesians 3:17-18

If this contemplative way to pray and experience God is not something that feels like a fit for you, I encourage you to think about how you do seek and find him. Are you satisfied or do you want more? You might want to get a copy of Sacred Pathways to find other ways to enrich and enhance your relationship with God. Or just read along with David in the Psalms. He offers many examples of a man who knew how to cling to the God who held him close.

As for my friend and I, we will continue to search for and find new ways to grow in our relationship with our dearest and most treasured Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thereby finding the deeper sense of being loved that we desire. God sees and delights in those who seek him.

How about you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.